


Sentience and Being

by CielPhantomhive



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, BoyxBoy, CielPhantomhive, Fluff, M/M, Romance, SebaCiel - Freeform, Sebastianxciel - Freeform, Time Travel, Yaoi, cielxsebastian, knightatem, tatem
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-07-24 13:37:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16176182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CielPhantomhive/pseuds/CielPhantomhive
Summary: To save the world, Ciel must abandon his life as the Queen’s Guard Dog and a resident of Victorian London, take up the hand of Fate, and travel through time to right the wrongs of supernatural catastrophe- and at the heart of it all... Sebastian.





	Sentience and Being

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! Welcome! A multichap Kuro fic at last! Who would have thought!

On a day like this, weather cold and dreary, rainy and gloomy, one could not help but stare out a window and despair of all that could have been. 

It was such a day that Ciel Phantomhive found himself doing just that. Work abandoned at his desk, swiveled right around and glaring at those stormy skies as if _it_ had been responsible for the death of his parents.

But before he could think too hard on the matter, a light knock echoed through the quiet, dimly lit room.

As he called out, permitting entrance to his butler, the mood grew somber still. Even his voice could not ease the oppressive silence that loomed over them. Nor did the familiar clinks of china cups and the sound of tea being poured.

Neither still, the aroma that permeated his atmosphere.

”Awfully gloomy, today’s weather.” He chose to comment, for lack of anything better to say.

His butler, in all his perfect glory, only nodded in quiet agreement. 

“It  _is_ fall, Young Master. I expect it’ll rain throughout the evening and well into the night. I don’t foresee any trips into town for quite some time.”

A lone teacup was placed before him on his desk, the plate it rested on the same beautiful light blue shade as it’s partner. 

His finger delicately grasped the stem, and he lifted to cup to his slightly parted lips. He meant to take a drink, but as his gaze lifted to his butler, he paused.

”Something the matter, Sebastian?” Ciel inquired. "Perhaps what the servants did to you in the dining hall?"

A small shake of his head was the only answer he got, and those carmine eyes continued to stare, as if his question hadn’t deterred him in the slightest.

It was irksome, really, and Ciel found himself swiveling, plate in hand and finally taking the sip of tea he craved, to view the outside world once again. 

Still, Sebastian didn’t speak a word, but his presence was domineering and ever powerful. He couldn’t put a finger on it, but as of late, Sebastian was definitely acting odd. He performed his butler duties swimmingly, often overachieving and exceeding any and all expectations... but without his usual glamour Ciel had grown accustomed to. He seemed, quite contrary to his seemingly  _human_ lifestyle, vacant and devoid of life.

Of course, being a demon, Sebastian strove for perfection. A butler with etiquette, brains, power, and every aesthetic one could ever hope to attain. And though sharp on his duties and attitude when discussing important matters, there was something definitely off about the man.

Ciel noticed only the little things, the tiniest changes of behavior. Behavior quite normal to anyone, unless that person were, say, a demon. He’d only really noticed the first time when he’d asked Sebastian a question last winter just after his eighteenth birthday about transportation accommodations to Lady Elizabeth's estate for a dinner party she'd planned, only to find the elder man absent from the conversation and staring at the snow as if experiencing some far away memory. He’d assumed it was just that, but when he’d gained Sebastian’s attention, he didn’t quite... seem entirely present with the discussion.

And before he knew it, the sarcastic remarks, the snarls of disgust, and even the irritated outbursts at incompetent servants seemed to dissipate into thin air. He seemed like an entirely different person, doing only his job and nothing more. Like an uninvolved, mute butler that spoke not a word, but did as told without protest. It was especially so when they'd arrived at the dinner party, and instead of smart remarks and warm greetings, he'd faded into the background and remained silent.

But it wasn’t until Ciel really started taking notice of Sebastian’s odd behavior that he realized the full extent of it. Even around him, it seemed, was the worst of it.

It was unsettling.

Sebastian had always been threatening and creepy, had always sent chills down his spine, even involuntarily. But it seemed to him that Sebastian was blatantly staring at him for an entirely different reason. No longer did the stocky, intense demon seem oppressive and doom and gloom. Instead, Ciel took notice of the way Sebastian seemed to cave to his wishes. He'd get sweets more regularly, and around bed time, it was no longer a fuss to have one last treat. And in regards to bathing and dressing, Sebastian's touch seemed more careful; and though being eighteen, he knew how to dress and bathe himself, but it was still easier to have Sebastian do it for him. 

He could feel the subtle shift in the atmosphere between them, as if there was something unexplained - a barrier, of sorts - that hadn’t been there before. Ever since last winter, it had always been present, and he wondered if there was something on the demon's mind that could affect the way he treated him.

Each time he felt Sebastian lapse into vacancy, he abruptly turned away from it. Something in the demon’s eyes unsettled him, as if he were holding something important back. But his expression contorted slightly, as if he were in pain when they were alone together, and it made him queasy each time. Thus, he was stuck with deafening silence in the presence of others, or deafening silence with an additional hold on the beast that caused him pain.

The way Sebastian looked at him when serving him reminded him of days with his parents when he was younger. His mother often wore that expression whenever Ciel took sick and had to remain in bed until he was better. His mother visited him every day back then, insisting that she make him soup instead of the cook, and spooning it into his mouth when he was too weak to sit up properly. 

And the fact that Sebastian looked at him that way, as if he were ill — as if he truly cared about his personal well being, despite being his personal food bank — made him want to slap that look right off his face and demand a better attitude.

Or at least permittance to know what exactly was on the demon’s mind. 

He swiveled in his chair again, eyes lowered to his cup just to ensure that he wouldn’t see such an expression. He took a sip, draining it most of the way before setting it back onto the plate he held.

”Sebastian, I’ve asked you once before, but you refused to tell me. You’re my butler- my servant. I think I have at least the right to know why it is you look at me as if I’m mentally ill.” He commented.

Really, he was only insisting since last time he’d been rejected so abruptly, but when his eyes traveled up to meet Sebastian’s steady gaze, he found instead, the man looking down at his feet.

Indeed, he was acting odd.

”Perhaps when it’s your time, I’ll tell you.” Was the simple, lifeless reply.

Ciel lowered the plate to his lap, a scowl set on his perfect, youthful face. In a flash, his hand was slamming onto the wooden desk, the slap much louder than he anticipated- but it got the reaction he was looking for.

Sebastian had startled, eyes wide as he finally raise his crimson gaze to meet Ciel’s.

”I wont repeat myself Sebastian.” Ciel insisted, calm despite his clear desperation. “As my butler- the demon I formed a contract with- as one I told to never lie to me and to always obey my every demand- I insist you tell me what it is that has effected your behavior so vastly.”

Sebastian’s eyes locked onto his own, and for the first time in quite a while, his breath was cut short with the absolute intensity of his crimson gaze.

”Is that an order?”

Ciel looked his butler up and down, floored by the response but finding his curiosity too prominent to ignore. Was it really such a huge deal that he needed to order him to speak? Was he really so unwilling? What could possibly be on his mind that he refused to speak of unless ordered to?

Ciel cleared his throat, meeting Sebastian’s gaze evenly and steadily. He saw the hesitation within them, and something else- he refused to label it as fear. It couldn’t possibly be. Fear was not something Sebastian was capable of experiencing.

Ciel raised his hand, fingers barely brushing over the fabric of the eye patch that so eloquently concealed their pact.

But before a word could be uttered, Sebastian reciprocated the act of slamming his hand down onto his desk- which startled him and made him jump a little. 

“Think carefully, now,” Sebastian whispered in an unusually deep, low voice. “If you make me speak of the matter, I will be putting you at risk.”

Ciel, quickly recovering, glared up at his butler. He found himself clutching the teacup harshly, nearly spilling its contents.

Setting the cup on his desk beside Sebastian’s hand, he leveled with the demon. Sebastian leaned in nice and close, having hissed those words through clenched teeth, as if wanting him to refrain. 

But he couldn’t be lying. It was a stipulation that he couldn’t. 

Ciel didn’t mind the close proximity- it was a vastly different change in pace for once. He’d grown rather weary of Sebastian’s antics as of late, but he found it curious that Sebastian could put him in danger by speaking what was on his mind.

Surely nothing could come of anything if it were just the two of them in this office? Could what Sebastian worried about be so terrible?

Ciel straightened, looked him in the eye, and calmly murmured in the quiet office “I order you to tell me what’s going on with you.”

Sebastian retracted with a hiss, eyes flashing a bright crimson. “Young Master- take it back. By saying anything at all I will be putting you in immediate danger- I can’t—“

”Are you defying a direct order?” Ciel interrupted, standing abruptly, cerulean eyes narrowing and hardening. 

Sebastian could only look on in dismay, and Ciel certainly did get a very _physical_   example of the odd behavior forthright. 

Those long, nimble fingers hidden by gloves dug into perfectly framed black locks of hair, yanking at the strands in frustration. A low hiss of a groan fled pallid lips, and Sebastian flashed a glare in Ciel’s direction.

”I’ll tell you,” Sebastian hissed out, showing quite the display of anger as he kicked the wall- hard. The shiny black shoes scuffed at the top, the wall taking a trophy mark in the form of a black streak- having survived the brute force of a kick delivered by an upset demon.

”Just know that you’ve doomed yourself. You’ve doomed all of us.”

”Doomed?” Ciel scoffed, “Really, Sebastian, you’re out of control. The sooner I get a grip on your attitude, the sooner this matter can be dealt with.”

Sebastian paced quickly back over to him, footsteps hard and evenly paced despite his anger. “This is serious, Young Master. I won't disobey your order, but I must sever the line in favor of your safety. Your life is my priority- do you not understand this?”

Ciel narrowed his eyes, taking in the rugged state of his butler. He certainly seemed preoccupied with something- and the notion that it could be a supernatural issue was certainly at the forefront of his mind, but it wasn’t like he was in any immediate danger. Sebastian could protect him- so it was the least of his worries.

”Tell me, Sebastian.” Ciel insisted. “Don’t make me order you a second time.”

Sebastian only stared at him, eyes locked onto his, seeming to evaluate his options. It took a long time to coax an answer from him, the silence stretching on and on, but Ciel attributed his victory to his persistence and unwavering demand to be let in on the matter.

Not long passed before Sebastian's fingers clenched and a low breath left him. 

Submission.

Ciel relaxed and took a seat, recognizing that he'd won the silent stare down and scooted in towards his desk expectantly. 

Sebastian stood stationary, leaning heavily into the desk, eyes falling onto that dark oak of Ciel's desk. He was definitely reluctant to talk, Ciel knew that, but the longer he stared, the more agitated the demon seemed to become. Something in those crimson depths flickered back and forth, as if an internal debate was raging on within him. It was interesting to watch, but he couldn't forget the matter at hand. Sebastian needed a major attitude fix- or at least, he needed to fix whatever problem was wrong with him. He couldn't have a distracted butler while in the thick of danger on some foreign mission the Queen chose to send them on.

"Before I speak, I must warn you ahead of time." Sebastian murmured, taking a stand beside Ciel instead of in front of him.

Ciel pulled away from the desk, eyebrow arched in slight surprise at the rather personal stance he took. Why did he seem so suddenly eager to be as close as possible? He really wasn't in that much immediate danger, was he?

"Go on."

Sebastian cleared his throat. "She... will offer you a deal. Will try to convince you that you have to go with her- and you must not. Wherever she takes you, I cannot follow and I cannot protect you. Your life will be tossed into the front lines of danger, and there will be nobody... not a soul that could possibly protect you."

Ciel pursed his lips, already not liking the hushed, hurried tone of his demon butler. He was sure, now, that he could detect fear. It was poignant, as if it emanated from his being, and Ciel had to push away from their close proximity just a bit so that he could breathe. He was glad he didn't have to urge Sebastian to continue.

Straightening and keeping to perfect posture, Sebastian spoke evenly. 

"There is someone who has been following me throughout the millennia- one of the three divine Fates. I've been trying to shield our location, but it is difficult. One cannot hide for very long. She is a divine, supernatural being- almost like an angel, but not quite a messenger. She's a diviner; she rules over fate. She's set on taking you away from me."

Ciel's eyebrows crinkled in concern, "Me? Why me?"

Sebastian shook his head a little and heaved a sigh. "Your guess is as good as mine, but if memory serves, this is no thing to celebrate over. I've only heard stories, but if she gets her hands on you, I'm not sure exactly what will happen to you. I don't even know what she does- I know at least one fate controls time, the other fate controls life, and the other... I'm not entirely sure. There are not enough accounts to positively say what they do separately and what they do together. But by speaking of them at all, I've practically invited them inside the manor." 

Ciel stood from his chair, lips pursed, handing the teacup back over to the man. "If my life is in danger, I'm positive you can handle it. The point is to not let her take me, so don't let her take me. I'll do what I can, but I make no promises. You know how fickle humans can be- who's to determine they wont be interested in what a fate would have to offer? Wouldn't it be just a little exciting to hear what one would have to say? Why they'd want you in the first place?"

"...No, anything that wretch has to say must be ignored. It's like listening to the song of a siren, only to be torn to shreds instead." Sebastian said with a grimace.

Ciel only waved the matter off, and moved around his desk. "By the way you speak of her, I can only guess you've met once before?"

Sebastian's expression, that of flat annoyance, was a familiar and welcome expression. It reassured Ciel a little that by having divulged that bit of information, Sebastian must have felt a weight drop off those broad shoulders. He knew Sebastian would have been able to tolerate it either way, but if it was unnecessary baggage that didn't need to be weighing the demon down, he'd rather him spit it up than try to keep it down. 

"I wouldn't say met her per se, I've seen her before, though."

Ciel's lips twisted in a frown, and his palms slid along the wood of his desk. "What's the big problem, then? If you've never met her, I don't see any reason why you should hate her."

Sebastian's lips drew into a flat line, and he shifted from foot to foot. "No, I don't think you quite understand, Young Master. This is fate that we're dealing with here. Grim Reapers are one thing, but Fate is an entirely different beast. You cannot control it, and you cannot outrun it forever."

"Then, by definition, whatever Fate wants with me, she's eventually going to get it."

Sebastian fell into a short silence, and Ciel was happy to have him mull it all over. If it were true that this divine being wanted something from him, and if what Sebastian said were true about not being able to outrun it, then what was the point in running? Sebastian seemed worried, but it wasn't like they were currently running anywhere. If Sebastian had truly been concerned for his safety, they probably wouldn't be standing here right now.

"Listen, Sebastian, you're my butler for a reason. I have faith in your abilities to protect me, and I know that you'd never let anything bad happen to me. That is enough of a reassurance. This fate doesn't scare me and it certainly doesn't intimidate me, so don't let yourself get fooled by whatever it is she's after. If you're honestly so worried, then guard me better, it's a simple solution."

Sebastian said nothing to that, and Ciel heaved a heavy sigh. He pushed the teacup away from him and gestured towards the door. "If you don't mind, I need to get back to work. These documents aren't going to write themselves."

Ciel plucked the pen from it's holder and shifted the last document he was working on closer to him. It took a lot more will to ignore Sebastian's presence than he cared to admit, especially when his butler soundlessly set a plate next to the document and bowed before exiting.

When he looked up, his lips twisted sourly. Odd indeed. Sebastian seemed reluctant to even leave his side, and it appeared that whoever this fate was, was causing Sebastian considerable distress. He'd have to look into the matter and discover more about them. Perhaps a trip to the library after he'd made a decent dent in this paperwork... and perhaps after he finished this delicious chocolate cake Sebastian had set in front of him, too.

* * *

 

"Honestly- where is it?" Ciel mumbled, arching up to pull the thousandth book from its place.

After he'd finished his paperwork and polished off that cake, he'd made his way to the library. He figured there had to be something in the library that could allude to fate. The only other options aside from looking for a book were to either ask Sebastian or bribe the Undertaker- and considering Sebastian's earlier behavior, that didn't seem like the best option... and he certainly didn't think a visit to the Undertaker would be particularly pleasant. It would require Sebastian's help anyway, and because it was raining, he doubted many people would be out and about.

So, with reluctance, he spent the next couple of hours combing through the stacks and shelves in the grand library. No doubt Sebastian knew, but perhaps he didn't particularly care, for he didn't see him appear once in the doorway. Only Finny and Mey-Rin seemed to wander in and out; though, they definitely didn't seem keen on helping him search. Not that they'd really understand what he'd be searching for anyway.

With an aggravated huff, Ciel threw book after book into a steadily growing pile at his feet. He hadn't even covered the upper half of the library yet, and he was getting frustrated that nothing seemed to be matching what he was after.

"I think this book might give you some answers you're looking for," A soft, female voice called.

" _Ugh_ , Mey-Rin, you don't even know what I'm looking for." Ciel grumbled irritably, "Just leave me be- ask Sebastian to bring me some tea at least."

A hum was the only response he was given, and in a flash of irritation, he whirled and chucked a copy of Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment. "I'm BUSY--"

Ciel choked on his own words, blinking rapidly because this was not Mey-Rin. No, not even remotely. He pressed his back against the shelves and clenched his jaw.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?"

The woman did not take up the appearance of Mey-Rin in the slightest, and Ciel had to wonder how she'd even gotten inside the manor. Unless, somehow... this person was the person that Sebastian had warned him about?

He opened his mouth to speak again, but she merely shook her head and handed the book over to him. It was an old, tattered brown book, fraying at the edges, the pages ragged as if the book had been hand-sewn together. Ciel stared at her quizzically, taking in her features as she held the book: an offering.

She was pretty, to say the least. She had gorgeous wavy red hair that cascaded down her back- and from what he could see, down nearly to her hips. Her eyes were brown, but they carried an indeterminate warmth. Adorning her head was an intricate gold-plated leaf headpiece, a diamond drop dangled peacefully against the center of her forehead. She wore a silky blue dress that hung in waves to her feet. It dragged against the floor when she took a step closer, arms raised as she held the book out to him with both hands. Her sleeves ran up to her delicate wrists, hanging loosely. Adorning her shoulders and back, Ciel noticed another type of cloth, red in color, held on by a gold-plated clasp in the same style as the headpiece she wore. 

She was stunningly beautiful, and Ciel found himself reaching for the book and accepting it gratefully.

"It's an interesting read. I think it might pique your interest in more ways than one." She spoke, not answering his questions and instead continuing as if he hadn't said a thing.

Rather than lingering, she merely inclined her head conspiratorially. "Try not to let Sebastian see it; he'll take it from you, and it's in your best interest to know exactly what you're getting yourself into before we continue this further."

Ciel raised a brow. "Continue further? What do you mean? Are you the Fate Sebastian warned me about?"

A small hum of acknowledgement left her, and the corners of her mouth upturned in the slightest of smiles. "He's mentioned me already?"

So it was her.

"Nonetheless, I'm sure you're riddled with questions... Just read the book, and when the time is right, I will return for it and we'll discuss."

Ciel pushed himself off the shelf, shifting the tattered book to his side. "I don't know who you are, but if you think this is some kind of joke, my butler won't think it's very funny."

She merely raised her hands in defense and offered him a smile. "Read the book. When I return, you'll be more inclined." 

This was the last she spoke as she turned, lifting her skirts, and proceeded out the library door. Her red hair swayed rhythmically with each step, and when she turned the corner, the train of her dress finally disappearing, he heard nothing afterward. He thought it strange not to hear echoes of footsteps in the long hall, but the weight of the book he'd been given drew his attention easily. 

It looked ordinary... ordinarily old.

Out of curiosity, he opened it in the exact middle. If it were some kind of book, especially one he was looking for, he could get the most blunt answer by examining the contents...

His eyebrows quirked, thumb running along a hand-scribbled date at the top, and frowned.

"April fifth... one thousand and... two?"

His thumb ran down the page, the scribble of words foreign to him. There were a few words written that he couldn't quite distinguish, ill-written or in another language he couldn't tell, but as he read short bits, he slumped against the shelf. This couldn't have been a regular historical account- no, the use of 'I' and 'we' certainly accounted for a first person narrative or a diary of some kind.

_This tragedy will not be forgotten. I can't ... there is something I think, malicious and domineering about such an event. A massacre that reminds me so much of ... but that time, I hadn't been alone. This I bear the brunt of, knowing full well that I alone was at fault for what transpired. Had I not provoked ... then perhaps the Danish people would thrive as a civilization in their own right. But ... would Odin thwart me for protecting his peoples?_

_I cannot fathom a life without ... And surely it is he who condemned me to this fate, yet I cannot bring myself to lay blame to an ..._

_I wish he had ..., for this eternity might not be so damnably unbearable._

Ciel couldn't quite read the rest nor could he discern what other connecting sentences said. Most of the page had been smudged and faded, the only other thing he could properly distinguish was a clear print of what he thought said "Saint Brice's Day", but he wasn't entirely sure if it was written as a proper name or as an event.

He found himself scratching the top of his head and closing the book. If it was a journal, it must be full of personal entries, too. From the brief passage he'd read, it seemed as though the writer were remorseful, dare he say even heartbroken.

Could the journal belong to this lady that had appeared? Surely, as it seemed she intended it to have the answers to all his questions. If she were a Fate, then perhaps it really would be of some use. But to not let Sebastian see it? Was it really so important that he had to keep such a thing from his butler?

He pursed his lips in thought, trying to recall their earlier conversation. Sebastian had seemed intent on not listening to anything this person had to say- that she'd eventually make some sort of offer, and to not take it for his own safety. But he'd also mentioned to the demon that if this was fate they were dealing with, then wasn't it natural to assume that she was going to get whatever she wanted anyway? If you could not outrun your own destiny, then wasn't it only logical to assume that it was already playing out in the natural order?

Ciel shrugged and closed the book. With any luck, he could read more when he was in his room. If Sebastian wasn't to see it, he doubted that woman would have given him the book in the first place. Maybe it was a kind gesture or a leap of faith, but whether Sebastian saw him with it or not he didn't see it making any difference. He had no control over what the demon did on his own unless it involved his safety, so possessing some sort of diary of a mystical being was of no consequence to the demon at all. He didn't see how it mattered unless he took it from him.

If the point was to read it, then he would read it. It was only a book, a diary, and perhaps it held the answers he needed to get to the bottom of this mess. After all, he was only doing this to be informed about what exactly Sebastian seemed intimidated by. Grim Reapers he could understand- they could physically deal damage, but they couldn't kill him. He saw Fate to be no different, just another monster to banish into the closet.

Straddling the book to his side, he exited the library and made his way towards his bedroom. By now, Sebastian would be in the kitchen preparing his evening meal. Once he set to finish it, he would return to his chambers for his nightly routine with Sebastian and take to reading the book. He doubted anything within its confines could change his perspective. 

Or, at least, that's what he had believed.

Upon finishing his meal and bidding his butler good night, he twisted and lit the candle on his nightstand. It wasn't very light, but it would have to do. He withdrew the book he'd hidden underneath his pillow and slid his hand over the cover. It really was old, the cover made out of some kind of stretched and worn leather, sewn together with twine. The pages were yellowed, the ink a kind of black that should have made it easier to read, but written in handwriting that was definitely not easy to decipher. 

Instead of opening the book to the first entry he read, he flipped the cover over. He couldn't help his curiosity, wondering if it was indeed a diary, just how far back it dated. So far, he knew it went back to 1002, but that had been near the middle. He pulled the book closer, knees pulling up to rest the bulky thing on so that he could get a proper look in the dim candle light. 

Instead of an entry like he expected, he found straight edged, bold penmanship that he couldn't quite make out. It was written in a completely different language, Ciel discerned, for even though the letters were prominent and clearly visible, there were markings that didn't match with the English he knew of. Only one word stood out to him, and a soft 'impossible' left his lips. Engraved, his fingers traced the incredible, impossible print.

 _Nafn: Sebastian_  
_ár: 936_  
_ bjóðr: móðir _

Ciel took a sharp, uneasy breath. It couldn't have been Sebastian's... That was impossible.  _He_ had given that demon a name when he first came into his service- his appearance was brought on by what Ciel had deemed appropriate for a servant of a Phantomhive Earl- this was way beyond anything he knew to be familiar. This was a lie, a trick played upon him by a wicked being who was set to distance him from his butler. Sebastian was not real, he was a creature created from the depths of Hell. He was a slave to wicked ways, preyed upon the weak, devoured souls...

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. This was not Sebastian's, it couldn't be. Or perhaps it was simply coincidence that his butler shared a name with another; the author of this book was not his Sebastian.

Quickly he flipped to the next page, eyeing the date at the top in looped, cursive writing. The same as the entry in the middle. October fifth, 937. 

_ I fear an apocalypse might be upon me. It is only to the North that I hear this wailing, iron clashing against iron, distant cries disturbing the peace of an afternoon that should have remained quiet. Do they draw near? I hear Brunanburh is overrun, pillaged, and destroyed. Men throwing themselves at each other like animals, like rats for their next meal. Blind leaders lead blind men, and I'd sooner jump into the Northern Sea than to participate in such a slaughter. To align myself with the English would be ... ... which could only result in a spiritual death that my sweet Valkyrie would surely weep over. It has been ten entire years, ten entire lifetimes that I last saw her, and ten years yet that my life lay bared, stripped right from me. I stood naked to her, yet she clothed me with hope and security to this day I dare not take off. I pray it saves me from a massacre, from anything that might happen North. The happenings of Brunanburh is something I shall not forget hearing any time soon, for the cries of the foolish and weak will forever echo over the prairie land and across the stirring sea. _

Ciel looked up from the journal with furrowed brows. Brunanburh... it sounded faintly familiar. He reached into his foggy mind to grasp a memory, some straggle of an explanation, and found only Sebastian schooling him in the history of London. 

He set the journal aside and hopped out of the bed. Perhaps his notebooks from his lessons would provide him some answers.

Indeed, after rummaging through his desk drawer, he came across one of his newer notebooks he’d written in. Sebastian still taught him the history, as he believed the method to be more accurate without political or personal opinions infiltrating the teachings. After a few page flips, sure enough, he came across what he was looking for. In it, only a short summary of the event.

The Battle of Brunanburh, a battle that only lasted one day, proved the worth of a King well known as Æthelstan. The battle, won by him, preserved the unity of England and drove off Olaf of Dublin, and Constantine the 2nd, of Scotland.

Ciel brought his notebook to his bed and climbed back in, rereading the passage over again to compare the notes. There was still one part of it he couldn’t quite make out, but he decided that the part he couldn’t read sounded more like an opinion than a fact. But everything sounded accurate- right down the the month... except, it was interesting that it was dated the fifth of October... the history book had no real date to provide.

Ciel pursed his lips and turned a few pages in the journal. The one he stopped on seemed sloppily written, as if it were written in a hurry, but still legible. He squinted at the looped handwriting at the top- unlike the previous entry, the slant in the writing was different. It seemed, at least to him, that a different person wrote this entry... or at least, the hand that wrote the last entry was not the same as this hand. Could the woman who had given this to him in the library be the writer?

Dated March ninth, 939 it read:

_ I sit quietly, thinking about nothing in particular. Or maybe I am, I'm not sure. I watch him from a distance and he knows, he's aware. I'm staring at him so intensely that he's always aware. And if I even had a clue what staring at him did to him, then maybe I'd have a clue to how much I truly mean to him. How much he loves me- because he is already aware that I love him. He is going to use that very fact to make tomorrow special for me. To reveal to me that he loves me and I love him. Of course, this surprise would be for naught if I were to walk over and take-- _

Ciel looked on at it with a frown. The entry was odd- written almost in third person. Except, it was interesting that the writer spoke as if he were another- as if he were the true owner of the journal. He didn’t know what to make of it, and when he looked to his right to reach for his notebook, a shrill cry of surprise escaped him.

Low and behold, sitting on the floor with skirts neatly arranged, the foreign woman looked up at him. She was smiling kindly, hand reaching up to rest lightly against the edge of his bed. He didn't know how long she had been sitting there, but with how she was perched, he had no doubt she had been waiting for him to finish reading. His hand flew to his chest, trying to keep his heart from beating right out of his body.

"I'm sorry for startling you, there was no other way to approach you- especially with Sebastian roaming around the halls at night." The lady whispered softly. "But, what do you make of the journal? Interesting?" She inquired gently.

Ciel gathered the blankets and pulled them up to his chest, a frown creasing his lips. He would have heard her come in, and he would have definitely sensed her presence next to him even while reading- yet why was he so completely unaware of her existence until now?

Thinking back, when she had exited his library, he hadn't heard her footsteps either. He had wondered, then, and had found it odd, but it seemed to only add to the mystery of it all.

"You're... one of the Fates, aren't you?" He whispered.

She smiled up at him and stood. She smoothed down her dress and grasped her fingers elegantly in front of her. Lifting her chin, the diamond drop of her headpiece shimmering in the candlelight, she offered him a knowing smile.

"You believe it now?" She inquired.

Without hesitation, he nodded.

Her head bowed with what he assumed to be respect. Or perhaps, his acknowledgement of her identity was what she needed.

"My name is Rose. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Ciel Phantomhive."

Ciel only dipped his head in response. "Sebastian said you would offer me a choice?"

Rose reached forward, carefully grasping the journal Ciel had set aside. She closed it slowly, and hugged it to her body. "He's worried, as he has a right to be." She murmured. "Though it is not really a choice, I'd rather you come to terms with the situation first before I whisk you off into the unknown."

Ciel's lips twitched, and he found himself crossing his arms. "Sebastian is adamant that I tell you no. Is it safe to assume that you are the cause of his stress as of late?"

Rose nodded slowly, "I've been watching. He's been careful to delay my appearance; however, it was I who decided to not appear until now. I could have visited you many nights ago had I wanted to. I suppose... there was something about the way he was beginning to act that had me hoping you'd be more easily swayed to my cause. I'd rather you understand what is happening and not take you by force, but I will if it's necessary."

"If you put me in danger-" Ciel warned.

"The danger will not be of my own doing, but of yours." She corrected swiftly. "The decisions you make from now on will have a bigger impact than you'll ever truly fathom."

Ciel squinted his eyes, not wanting to believe her words, but with the way she spoke, it certainly didn't sound like she was lying.

"However," She continued gracefully without a hitch, "I'd also like for Sebastian to remain calm. It would do no one any good to take lives unnecessarily. While I know I'll never get his permission, perhaps an explanation would do him good. It would do you both good."

She turned, and took a deep breath. "I will announce my presence, now. The sooner he knows I'm with you, the better. I don't want him rampaging while we're gone."

Ciel could only watch as she moved around his bed, standing in the path of the door and rearranging the bottom of her dress to pool neatly at her feet. Lifting her chin, she called out to Sebastian. Her voice was calm and soft, but bold, too. She sounded confident, but she didn't raise her voice. She certainly didn't need to. The second his name left her lips, Sebastian entered eyes a bright crimson, candle in hand and a menacing look on his face.

Ciel didn't react, but the look Sebastian gave Rose was definitely cause for concern. He hadn't seen that look since they had first encountered the Grim Reapers all those years ago.

For a few moments the atmosphere in his room was tense and stifling. The air had grown thick and uncomfortable, and Ciel cleared his throat to move this...  _meeting_ along.

Sebastian's head snapped in his direction, his rage evident, but boiling down to a simmer when he saw Ciel's concerned and steady gaze trained on him.

Rose took a step back, not quite liking her close proximity to Sebastian, it seemed. Instead, she wandered over to him and took a seat at the edge of the bed.

Sebastian quickly stepped closer, walking around the bed just to be the closest one to Ciel. It was clear, the way Sebastian's eyes looked so guarded, that he didn't trust her in the slightest.

"What's going on here, Young Master? I warned you of this very thing, and here you are speaking with this witch."

His tone was surprisingly even for how vile and hostile the words he spoke were. With the way his eye pulsed, he knew that Sebastian was more than just a little upset. Indeed, Sebastian really had warned him about her, and he supposed that he had every right to be angry about walking in on something like this. Though, he wasn't entirely sure if he was to blame- Rose _did_ appear of her own accord.

"I'm not a Witch, Sebastian. I'm a Fate," Rose corrected coolly. "And for your information, I summoned you here because I'd like to speak with you, not fight with you."

"I'd rather not speak to you at all. I'd rather you leave and never come back."

Rose's lips twitched in a slight smile, and she hummed in a soft agreement. "It's not often we deal with demons- we're in control of Man's fate. Unfortunately, for some reason, you both have a severe impact on the world. I cannot say why exactly, but it's important that the two of you understand what's at stake."

Sebastian, much to Ciel's surprise, slipped a gloved hand around Ciel's arm.

"I don't wish to understand any of it. The world is not of my concern, and I won't allow you to take the Young Master anywhere."

A rough groan left Rose's lips, and despite her elegance, she stood and firmly grasped her hands in front of her. Ciel could only assume that her patience was running thin. He didn't blame her- Sebastian was his butler, and sometimes he could be a handful even for him.

"Ah, but Ciel has a say, doesn't he? I don't think you speak for him. Last we spoke, he wanted to know what was going on for himself."

"Last you  _spoke?"_

Sebastian turned to Ciel in slight disbelief, eyebrows slanted in frustration. A characteristic he was used to seeing, but somehow it felt... different. As if his desperation was seeping into his frustrations. Surely it wasn't truly that big of a deal?

"It was nothing," Ciel began to explain.

"What happened the last time we met is strictly between him and I." Rose interrupted, "Now, if you wouldn't mind, I have serious delicate matters to handle and I'd appreciate it if both of you kept quiet and listened."

Sebastian's grasp on his arm didn't fall away, instead it tightened. If Sebastian held him any tighter he'd have to say something- but with how tense he appeared to be, he'd rather not have Sebastian snap.

Of course, he'd never seen his butler snap before, so it would definitely be the first.

"Many people will never be born, some Kings will never exist, countries won't be unified, continents will go unexplored... people will die when they're not supposed to, and some people will continue life when they should have died at the hands of someone who was supposed to exist. The world will fall into disarray, it will be chaotic and greed will ruin every empire that may rise." A worried gaze flicked towards Sebastian. "I need your permission, Sebastian, to take him. There are events, people, and places that must be created."

Finally Sebastian's grip on him loosened, and the butler crossed his arms and lifted his chin. As stubborn as ever. With a frown, a flat "No" was given.

Rose, seeming to begin to lose her patience, huffed. "You knew this was going to happen eventually, Sebastian-"

"And I made a promise that I wouldn't allow it to happen."

Rose's lips thinned, and with a speed Ciel had never seen before, she struck Sebastian across the cheek. "You and your damn inner promises," She hissed lowly, "Perhaps you should consider, again, what he went through to get you to this point. If he doesn't go, you will not be the same person."

Ciel, meanwhile, had gripped his blankets harshly, watching the scene unfold in a horrified fascination. Sebastian hadn't flinched, but he hadn't moved out of the way either when he was struck. Instead, Sebastian had turned from her as if she hadn't said anything at all, and approached him.

With a care that was completely foreign to him, and eyes softer than he'd never seen before, Sebastian took hold of his hand and pleaded with him. "She'll hurt you if you go. You must not listen to her." He then turned abruptly, as if to plead with Rose one last time. "Don't make him go."

"He must- you and I both know that both the past and the present will be deeply affected. I need only your word that you will not carve a path of destruction in the wake of this."

Ciel pushed the blankets away from him and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Clutching his temple with his palm, he groaned. "Is this all necessary? Rose- you know that he wont let me go anywhere, yet you still insist on asking a demon to behave while you take his meal away from him. Honestly, have you no sense at all?"

"You're willing to go, then?" She inquired, turning to him abruptly.

Meeting her eyes, he was momentarily dazzled by their kind depths. How they seemed to shimmer and beg of him. But before he could open his mouth, he felt Sebastian stiffen at his side.

Upon looking at his butler, he found the demon staring right back at him. His gaze was also pleading- and it startled him a little to find that Sebastian was truly desperate. Though he did not force him to run or to hide, it was evident that he wanted to whisk him away. There was something surreal about the way Sebastian looked at him, something carnal yet... strangely emotional. He was aware of his own status in Sebastian's mind- serving him as a butler only until his time was done. His soul belonged to Sebastian already, they had created a contract to prove it. To bind them to one another so completely that one could not outrun the other. Almost like fate, he mused inwardly.

"Phantomhive," Rose addressed softly, trying to regain his attention.

It worked, but Sebastian still held most of his attention. The way those gloved fingers reached out to wrap around his wrist made his skin prickle with awareness. It was odd, not so much creepy as it was desperate. Still, Sebastian closed the distance between them, his shoulder and hip draped over with the length of Sebastian's torso. Being this close wasn't new, but it felt extremely intimate for the moment.

As Rose went on, he couldn't bring himself to pull away from his butler- acting as if the contract didn't exist... what a foolish demon. If anything, Rose would have a difficult time separating the two of them. He trusted Sebastian more than he trusted this foreigner... claiming to be a Fate. Even if she were, he had no plans on going with her.

"If you don't return with me, you will never be born." Rose said, matter-of-factly.

Ciel only gritted his teeth. All the more reason not to go- perhaps if he had never been born, his parents wouldn't have been murdered. His family would never have been torn apart. His soul would be free from tragedy and devastation, and he'd not have to deal with this any longer.

"Sebastian," She addressed quietly, "You don't want that, do you? If he doesn't go back into the past, you will never have known him. The world will fall apart, and you would have nothing to hold onto. Is this truly what you want?"

Sebastian's only response was a growl, and Ciel felt inclined to pat him on the back to calm him. "This doesn't change anything," Ciel stated boldly.

Rose only shook her head in disdain. "Your mother and father would not meet. Your great grandparents and all that was before you would cease to exist. All the people you've befriended or helped would not remember; they'd be left in a dark place that even you cannot fathom. Your enemies would not fear you, and would continue to rampage. The people you murdered would exist again, and all of London-"

"Enough." Sebastian hissed, pulling away from Ciel. He slid in front of him, using his own body as a shield that Ciel was all too used to seeing. Though, in this scenario it seemed a little unnecessary. There weren't bullets raining down on them, nor were swords from their supernatural foes being swung in their general direction. Rose was no foe; she was Fate. 

"Listen, Rose, regardless of how much you say you need him, I cannot allow you to take him. It's dangerous and I'm not willing to risk his life. I don't care if the entire world falls apart because of it, I won't allow him to leave my side."

"It  _is_ dangerous, Sebastian, but as it turns out, neither of you really have a choice in the matter. I understand that Ciel is your personal  _food bank_ , and you have a tight leash around his throat, but I also understand why his life- well, soul - is important to you. I know how you've been when it comes to him, but you must understand- I beg of you- that the life you're wanting right now is not the same life you're going to get if he stays."

"No."

"SEBASTIAN, for God's sake!" She exclaimed, hands flying to her hips. "Do you know what my sisters would have done if they were in my place?" She hissed. "They would have taken Ciel from right under your nose- they wouldn't have bothered with a single explanation as to where he was going and why he was leaving. Be grateful that I'm even trying to be civil with you! While Ciel doesn't have a choice, he has the capacity to understand the dangers and disasters that would follow his disappearance. This is why I gave him your journal to--"

Immediately, among her blabbering, she clamped her hand over her mouth and looked over his shoulder to meet Ciel's eyes in a panic. 

Sebastian's journal... It couldn't have been...

"My WHAT?"

"Nothing!"

"ROSE, what did you DO?"

"I took it back! He didn't even read that far!"

Sebastian took a threatening step forward, and in only a moment, she was turning and dissipating into thin air. Her body shimmered, faded, and then completely disappeared.

Sebastian's low growl was a familiar sound, often directed towards everyone else-- except, this time, he turned on Ciel and clenched his hands into fists.

"What do you know?"

Ciel did not fear him, and though he was certainly intimidating, he reached out to brush Sebastian's gloved hand. "Nothing, really. When she gave it to me I didn't really think it would be yours. I gave you your name, and it seemed odd that you'd have a journal from so long ago with the same name I gave you."

Sebastian looked away from him and let out a deep sigh. Truly, they both were in for a long evening.

"It is my true name," Sebastian murmured, "My original name. You thought I was surprised because it was the name of your dog- and truly, it was somewhat degrading, but my surprise stemmed more from the fact that it was a name I hadn't used in a long time. A name that carried too much weight for me to use again."

Ciel didn't say anything to that, but while lost in thought, he felt Sebastian press a palm against his back to encourage him back into his bed. "Rest, now, Young Master. Tomorrow will be a better day."

He didn't really need that kind of reassurance, but he was hard pressed to say anything about it. Perhaps Sebastian was merely trying to comfort him as much as himself. If he were as worried about Rose as he thought he was, then perhaps he was trying to reassure himself that Ciel would still be there in the morning. So with little resistance, Ciel climbed into the bed and allowed Sebastian to tuck him in once more.

"Sebastian," Ciel murmured slowly, "What are you truly afraid of? What are you trying to protect me from?"

"A fate worse for both of us, I suppose." Was the response.

"You mean, my being lost? Or dead? Despite holding a contract, you're aware that my soul will continue on. You'd just need to find it."

"That isn't the point." Sebastian said curtly.

"Isn't it, though? You're here because I need you to help me get my revenge, but once I've acquired that, you'll eat my soul."

"Circumstances have changed with Rose's appearance. That isn't entirely the point, now."

Ciel lifted a brow, wedging a pillow behind his head as he looked up at Sebastian. "Not the point? We have a contract, Sebastian. Things don't just  _change."_

"No, they don't, but I don't think you quite understand." Sebastian let out a breath, and Ciel threw his hands up in the air dramatically.

"Then just find another soul to eat! If mine is too complicated then just-"

"No, I'm not going to do that."

"Why the hell NOT?"

Sebastian's palms smoothed down the blanket and he took a step back. "I cannot just go and find your soul after you die- it doesn't work like that. I also cannot find another soul to substitute yours. If you die on me, I don't know what I'd do."

Ciel crossed his arms and huffed. "Probably whine for a century before moving on. If something happens to me, it looks like you'll just have to take the loss."

"I won't accept it. I won't lose you. You're too important."

"You flatter me, really, but-"

"Actually I'm not." Sebastian interrupted, "Just forget all of this for tonight, and tomorrow, we will begin a new day."

Ciel, not at all happy that Sebastian wormed his way out of the conversation, had no choice but to comply. After all, what good would it do to really press on the issue?

"Now, you're sure that you didn't read anything... weird in the journal? I don't know how she even came across it to begin with." Sebastian questioned.

With a yawn Ciel shook his head. "There was only one I read that sounded like it was written in third person and first person, but other than that... just the Battle of Brunanburh. I didn't know you were there when it happened- is that why you skimmed over it in my lesson last week?"

"I skimmed over no such thing. I was as detailed as I could be with what I knew and with what was in the history books. And you needn't concern yourself with the odd entries. They weren't written by me."

"Who wrote them, then?"

"None of your concern." Sebastian then dipped his head abruptly, "No more questions, Young Lord."

Blowing out the candle, Sebastian cast the room into darkness. Before Ciel could open his mouth again, Sebastian dipped his head respectfully and exited the room with haste. Only when he was gone did Ciel cross his arms and pout. Being eighteen- nearly nineteen now- did nothing to prove his maturity. Sebastian was as abrupt and curt as ever, avoiding conversation- why, it reminded him of the party Elizabeth had thrown for his birthday last year indeed. Sebastian had acted odd even then, but he supposed talking to him just now had been more than he could usually get out of him in any given week.

Ciel groaned and nestled into the bed, slipping his arms underneath the blankets. Because he was feeling just a little bit petty, he rolled over on his side, back facing the door. Once again, given the shock of a lifetime, he nearly choked to find Rose sitting on the floor, once again, by his bedside.

"What  _is it_ with you and scaring me!" Ciel hissed.

Rose, glimmering brown eyes only smiled up at him. "He practically spent his entire lifetime looking for you, you know." She grinned.

Ciel rolled his one eye, thankful now that he kept it on during the nights, too. Since everything was so chaotic now, he decided it was best not to waste time taking it off. He pressed against the patch and his lips twisted in a frown. 

"What?"

"He spent most of his life looking for you. Tracking you down throughout time." Rose supplied.

"Why? Did I make a deal with him before or something? We were talking, actually, earlier... Did my soul get away from him or something?" Ciel asked.

Rose shook her head, chin arching to rest on top of his mattress and blankets. "No, nothing like that. He's searched, from the beginning, for every reincarnation you would have. He hoped to be with you again."

"That... that doesn't make sense." Ciel grimaced. "Why waste his time?"

"It's not a waste of time, Ciel. Not to him. You want to know why you're so disastrously important to that man?"

Ciel paused, looking her up and down. She stood and perched on the edge of his bed, and when he supplied a "why," her response ruffled him more than he cared to admit.

"Because," she said sadly, "you went with me into the past." 


End file.
